If I should die before I wake.

I could had cried myself to sleep tonight but i did not do so. Instead i chose to sob silently in the shower. The tears felt hot in comparison to the water even though the heater was on. My lungs hurted from too much fagging. The feelings felt so bottled up. I almost couldn't breathe. Now that i have cleared my mind, it's time to write.

If i should die before i wake,

Mum,

Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry. Even if i apologize 100000000 times, even if i go through the pain of bathing in boiling oil 10 million times, even if i go through the pain of being cut up by rusty and blunt knifes and re-sewn 1000 million times, i still cannot undo all the wrongs i have done you as your child.

Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you. Even if i shout thank you 1000000000 times until my throat bleeds and i go dumb, and continue shouting my thanks until eternity, even if i give you all the money in the world, even if i cut myself everyday until the day i die, repaying you in blood, i still cannot repay what you have given to me.

I have not been a filial child. You have given so much to the family and me. I really don't know how to repay you.
Love, child.



Why do i have to meet you peepz?
WHY WHY WHY!!!

Roysten Chan,

I find myself similar to you in some ways, or perhaps i should say i find you similar to me in some ways. Your determination and fighting spirit puts me to shame. I am late. I will wake up.

Joyce Poh,

You remind me of something in someone dear i have lost. Your innocence intrigues me. Your pureness and honesty attracts me.

Oliver Kahn,

You often go out of your way to help. You are so nice sometimes, your kindness amazes me. However you can be stepped over very easily; the world is ugly. Please beware.

Wendy Chui,

Happy Wendy. Everyone has his own troubles but your ability for suppression and shrugging unhappy things off deserves respect. I wish i can be Happy Eugene too.

Sylvester Stallone,

You are so full of passion and optimism. You are someone who will always be there for your buds. A superb buddy to have.

Bryan,

Nice ass. I know michelle loves it.

Banzai to JL!

From this instant onwards, schoolwork will take top priority. (It's not to say i will be hardworking, but i'll ban myself from playing before i finish work.) Guitar lessons will be next in line. Play will be last. My desire for "LnL" will have to hold on. hahz! Sorry to myself.

"All work and no play makes John a dull boy." Shucks. Who would bother anywaz, i'm pretty dull in the first place...